


Love and Revenge

by thecatmeowsalot



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Comics
Genre: BuckyNat MiniBang, BuckyNat MiniBang 2019, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 05:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19987144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecatmeowsalot/pseuds/thecatmeowsalot
Summary: Bucky and Natalia are two Red Room spies sent on separate missions. Soon they discover they were sent to kill each other by their predecessors. The two rogue spies team up to discover why this happened and to take revenge on their comrades, falling in love along the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is a piece I wrote for the tumblr BuckyNat MiniBang! I'm actually quite excited with how it turned out so I hope you all enjoy it too! Comments are always welcome and make my heart a bit happier, lol:) ALSO, FOLLOW yesiknowthemuffinman ON TUMBLR! HER WORK IS INCREDIBLE AND I'M PROUD TO SAY THEY COULD CONTRIBUTE TO MY PIECE!!!

<https://thecatmeowsalot.tumblr.com/post/186575099728/hey-guys-yesiknowthemuffinman-made-this> CHECK OUT HER ARTWORK FOR MY FIC GUYS

_Ten seconds._ The wind blows a red strand of hair over her face, reddening her cheeks. _Nine seconds._ He unsheathes a knife, arming his right hand. _Eight seconds._ She checks her sides and shoves the magazine into place. _Seven seconds_. He places a grenade on his belt. _Just in case_ , he thinks. _Six seconds._ She pulls her hair back, focuses her aim, and again calculates the wind’s effect on the bullet. _Five seconds._ He runs cool, metallic fingers over his face, closes his eyes, and goes over each details of the target’s file. _Four seconds._ She blends herself into the roof using a blanket and positions her body to run. _Three seconds._ He loads a handgun and places it into the harness on his back. _Two seconds._ She counts down the remaining time left until the target appears. _One second_. He positions himself under his blanket and waits.  
_Zero_.  
A dark figure appears in a window. Brown hair drapes over the target’s face in a shroud of moonlight. _Breathe in_. She closes one eye and puts a black polished finger on the trigger. _And out._ The gun fires. She waits just long enough for the bullet to be a confirmed hit and jumps up. Natalia wraps the blanket around her waist and snatches the gun. She runs to the opposite end of the roof while folding the weaponry, attaching it to her back. Natalia lets her hair down in a streak of red and counts the last few steps to the edge of the roof. _And… JUMP!_ Natalia leaps with the grace of a dancer and spins her body in air to face the building. She flings a grasping hook into the wall and feels the line stretch as it holds her weight. She approaches the bottom of the alleyway and positions her feet in air, preparing for the shocking force when she hits the ground. She begins moving her feet in air so that she can hit the ground running. Natalia touches the pavement and lets go of the string, continuing to hurry down the alleyway.  
“Hit confirmed,” rings through Bucky’s ear. He squints and smiles, cocking his head at the small monitor. Natalia is heading down the alleyway, close to his set up around the corner. The moon barely shines through the clouds, hiding their figures in the ebony shadows. Luckily, his night vision camera can make out her every movement.  
“Affirmative,” Natalia hears back over the comms. As she runs, her eye catches a small blinking red light on the alley wall. _I’m being watched,_ she thinks.  
Bucky sees her eyes flick quickly towards the camera and away. So quickly that only a trained spy would know that he’s been exposed. “Fuck,” he murmurs. Bucky throws the blanket to the side and grabs the gun off his back. He presses his body against the alleyway corner and waits for the sounds of footsteps to get louder. Taking a breath, Bucky rounds the corner and is immediately shielding himself from bullets. He punches his metal arm through the air and blocks the next hit, watching sparks fly off his extended body. “Chert!” he yells out.  
Natalia fires her gun nonstop as a distraction, her blood boiling. She watches the firework show as her bullets ricochet off the metal arm of her attacker. _I killed the wrong target?!_ she thinks, furrowing her brow.  
“Blyad’!” Natalia exclaims.  
Natalia grabs a knife from her back pocket and fires with her other hand. She moves towards a nearby dumpster and throws the knife into the metal. Natalia runs to it, avoiding bullets, and leaps into the air. She places a hand on the handle and spins her body atop of the dumpster, taking the knife with her.  
Bucky curses under his breath. He’s fighting a highly trained assassin, just like himself. The target file was all bullshit, he thinks, narrowing his eyes. He grabs a knife from his pocket, only to have it shot to shit by Natalia. Bucky throws the remaining scrap of metal at her and watches it grasp into Natalia’s shoulder. She looks back at him with a face of pure anger and shoots him in the abdomen. He rounds the corner, out of her sight, and grabs the blanket, tying it tightly around his wound. Still, he has trouble focusing and grasps the wall beside him.  
Bucky, now pissed and wide eyed, quickly darts low around the corner and shoots at Natalia’s legs. Natalia uses her gun to avoid the bullet and curses at herself for such careless thinking. Without a gun, Bucky knows hand to hand combat is her only option. She jumps off the dumpster and barrel rolls into the shadows. He shoots his last few bullets at her, trying to calculate her every move across the alleyway. Unfortunately for him, Natalia has already pressed her body against the brick wall and flings herself off of it onto him. She kicks away his handgun and swings herself onto his shoulders. Bucky falls onto one knee, trying to remain balanced while still losing blood. Confused, he tries to grab at her arms and legs, but she slips through his grasp. Natalia, through heavy breaths, holds a knife up to her target’s neck. They are at a stalemate.  
“Why don’t you kill me now?” Bucky states.  
“Who did I shoot in that building?” Natalia hisses through clenched teeth.  
“Someone who was supposed to be me.”  
“Give me a name!” she yells, slicing enough of his skin to draw blood. Bucky clenches his fist and looks down, noticing a piece of metal on the ground. He pauses, brows forrowed.  
“Der’mo.”  
“That isn’t an answer, mudak.”  
“Your gun. It’s from the Red Room,” Bucky says, suddenly very serious.  
Natalia squints her eyes and digs the knife deeper into his neck. Bucky drops onto both knees, struggling to stay upright.  
“The Red Room is a KGB myth,” she says in his ear. “Who did you make me kill?”  
“Someone that’ll incriminate you,” Bucky snorts. “And if the Red Room were a myth, your bullets wouldn’t have a casing made of pure copper. Most bullets use a copper alloy, but not yours. You and I both know that only a few organizations in this country have that kind of money to spare. I could even tell from the sparks on my fucking arm. So don’t lie to me.”  
“So you’re giving me a science lesson now? I made them myself, mudak,” she says, deepening the cut on his neck. Blood gushes out, warming her fingers.  
“That’s a lie,” he smirks. “But this was a diversion.”  
Natalia looks down and panics at the sight of a grenade without its pin. Bucky swipes the knife from her grasp and Natalia moves straight into action. She swings herself off Bucky’s body and kicks him to the ground. She grabs her broken gun and runs back down the alleyway, shooting off another grasping hook. Natalia swings onto the opposite building and disappears into the night.  
Bucky quickly throws the grenade further down the alleyway and ducks around the corner. He hides behind his small monitor and prepares for the impact. _3… 2… 1…_ The grenade explodes, shaking the nearby dumpster. He waits for a moment, then looks around the corner and watches small bits of ash and fire float through the cool night air. Bucky stands up and limps into the alleyway. Looking down, he notices one of the bullets his target shot at him. Bucky picks it up, inspects it, and sighs. He winces while grabbing his handgun from the ground and takes out the magazine.  
“Der’mo. Something is wrong,” he states. Bucky drops the fired bullet onto the ground and shoves the magazine back into his gun. “We’re both working for the same people.” He takes a communication device out of his ear and tosses it into his pocket. “Must’ve been why it was so easy to hack the comms.”


	2. Chapter 2

Natalia watches Bucky from an unmarked rooftop, shrouded in darkness. She grabs an emergency kit from her belt and wiggles the broken knife in her shoulder. _He’d think I wouldn’t risk staying once I’ve killed someone,_ she thinks to herself. _Time to track this bastard._ Natalia grabs an alcohol wipe from her kit and yanks the knife from her muscle, biting down on her cheek. She places the wipe over the wound and puts pressure on it, attempting to stop the bleeding. Natalia then rips off a piece of her blanket and wraps it around her shoulder, deciding to give stitches at a later time.  
Natalia curses at herself, thinking about how she could have gone wrong. _I tracked him for weeks. Made sure I was careful and discrete at every turn. How the hell did he figure it out if he’s just a simple KGB agent? …Unless this asshole_ is _with the Red Room. He knew I was because of the fucking bullets._ Natalia lets out an inaudible laugh, not truly believing herself. _But if that were true, then it means we were sent to kill one another…_ She looks off into the sky and takes a deep breath. Every instinct in Natalia had been trained to trust her associates and never question their decisions. But now they possibly wanted her dead. She had to figure out why. And that started with _him._ She looks back down at James Buchanan Barnes, the name her target file had given him. She questions if that is even his name now, but most names don’t matter. Especially if he works with the Red Room. It’s the perception that matters, or rather, the lack of it.  
Bucky grabs a small backpack from behind a few trashcans and takes out a hoodie. He drops the hoodie on the ground, rips another shard from his blanket, and ties it around his neck to stop the rest of the bleeding. Bucky places the items from his small camp into the bag and checks the rooftops again. With the Red Room apparently calling the shots, he needed to be extra careful. Not like he wasn’t already, but extra protocols were always a viable option. Double checking all his sides, Bucky nods to himself, grabs the hoodie off the ground, and shimmies it over his shoulders to shield his metal arm. He grabs a pair of gloves from his pant pocket and uses them to hide any shine from his metal hand. In an instant, he is off.  
Natalia watches as her target heads to the back of the alley. Staying hidden in the shadows, she sneaks forward as he ducks down, away from her sight. She rushes to the edge of the roof, minding the spells of light from the moon. Natalia catches the agent’s feet disappearing through a hole in a brick wall. A gloved hand pops back through and arranges a few bricks into place, as if the hole never existed.  
Natalia grabs her grappling hook and swings her body off the roof, wincing from the pain in her shoulder. She lands with a flick of dirt and quickly ties her hook up to her belt. Once she confirms that no one is watching, Natalia presses an ear to the bricks. Hearing nothing, she decides to pull the bricks out and observe the inside. Natalia peeks her head into a dark room without windows. Backing out, she grabs the scope from her broken gun and sighs, flicking a piece of metal to the ground. Natalia turns on the night vision and sticks her head and arm back through the bricks to survey the room. Through the green lens the faded, crumbling wallpaper looks like mold. A broken door holds onto to one hinge across the way, looking as if it hasn’t been touched in decades. _No one,_ she thinks. Natalia puts the scope back in place and nudges the rest of the bricks out of the wall. She sits on her knees and grabs a flashlight from her suit pocket, hesitant about entering this area.  
Natalia throws the light into the building and struggles crawling through the wall, careful not to leave behind any trace of her existence there. Once through, she places the bricks back in their pattern and grabs the light off the ground. Natalia stands, shining the light around the room, and quietly dusts the dirt off her uniform. The dirt settles onto the ground where a series of lines catches her eye. Natalia backs into the wall of the torn down building and shines her light onto the floor. There, written in dust and blood on the floor, are letters.  
MEET TOMORROW AT MIDNIGHT. NO WEAPONS. NO RED ROOM.  
Natalia clenches her jaw. He wanted her to follow him.

Bucky smiles to himself and drifts off into the night. That spy may have a death threat for him, but so does the damned Red Room. There was no doubt in his mind that something had gone very wrong, and he was determined to figure out why. The only way to determine that was to involve Natalia in his plan. They had to band together to fight the organization or else the two of them wouldn’t survive. In fact, if he went back tonight and so did she, he doubted either of them would live for the morning light. But mostly, he was confused how the two were living in the Red Room but had never met one another. _What if she was an experiment gone wrong? What if I was?_ Bucky sighs. _Time to find a different hideout for now_ , he thinks as he runs off down a street of shadows.

Later that night, Natalia enters the compound and walks into a dark room. She places her broken gun on a chair and looks at her bloodied shoulder. A dull lamp ignites and an older woman with dark brown hair in a tight bun folds her hands together on a desk. She leans forward and looks at Natalia’s blood soaked shoulder. The woman tilts her head to the side and looks into Natalia’s eyes, waiting for her report. Natalia stays quiet, hiding any hint of fear behind a blank face. After a moment of silence, the woman speaks.  
“You are late, Natalia. I need your mission report… NOW!”  
Natalia walks toward the woman and sits down in the chair across from her. She takes off her belt and places it on the table between them, buying time to find her words. Natalia grabs at her shoulder and winces.  
“He is dead,” Natalia says, meeting the eyes of her predecessor. She didn’t mean to say the words, but they came out anyway. Natalia closes her eyes for a second too long, trying to comfort herself. _She knows I’m lying. She has to know. Nothing gets past her._  
The woman leans back and clenches her jaw. She takes a deep breath and looks down at the belt on the table. The tension in the room inclines with each breath Natalia exhales. _Maybe it’s all in my head,_ she thinks.  
“ _Who_ is dead?” the woman asks. _If I hesitate, she’ll know something is off for sure,_ Natalia thinks.  
“The target. James Buchanan Barnes,” Natalia responds. The woman squints at Natalia and rests a finger on her own forehead.  
“How did a quick take-out mission result in a shoulder injury, Natalia?” the woman asks. _Stay as close to the truth as possible. Lie only where necessary,_ Natalia thinks.  
“I killed the wrong target at first. An American diplomat. The real target ambushed me as I was leaving. Luckily, his efforts against me were _mostly_ useless,” Natalia motions to her shoulder. “James Buchanan Barnes is no longer an issue to the Red Room and our efforts here,” she tells her boss.  
“How did you know the wrong target was an American?” the woman asks, sucking in her cheeks.  
“I checked his credentials after eliminating the real target,” Natalia gulps.  
“You decided to stay in the area _after_ your mission?” the woman’s cheeks flash red in anger. Natalia tries to interrupt, but the older woman cuts her off.  
“Natalia Romanov, you are reckless and irresponsible. You got hurt on a simple elimination mission and very well could have compromised this organization… Go to the medic while I and the others decide what your punishment should be.” Natalia stands up, keeping a blank face to hide the pain behind her eyes. She grabs the belt off the desk and turns, walking to the door.  
“Oh, and Natalia? The body?” the woman asks, sounding bored and irritated. Natalia drops a hand on the door knob and takes a deep breath. Without turning around, she states, “It is dealt with.”  
“Good. Now go.”

Bucky hikes further into the woods, away from the city and into the cold. Brush and trees scatter the area, slowly dying as the seasons change. His breath dances in the air as his left arm begins to ingest the cold from the wind. The further from the city he gets, the safer he is. But with every step, he loses more blood from his abdomen. Bucky holds his left hand tightly over the bullet wound, trying not to pass out.  
If Natalia went back to the Red Room, then no one would be looking for him. However, he was relying all on hypotheticals to justify that he was safe. _If she doesn’t show up tomorrow night, then I know for sure I’m on my own... And that I’ve got one of the most dangerous targets on my back. Even if she does show, she may not be alone._ Bucky sighs and continues forward, trying to find a decent spot to camp for the night. He had taken all of his tracking software out and destroyed it, leaving himself a dead man on the grid, hopefully. Part of himself felt crazy for taking such extreme measures based on the information a bullet gave him. But if there is one thing he learned through his training, it was to trust bread crumbs, not people. Even if it meant not trusting the people who had created him.  
Soon enough, Bucky had found a spot up in the trees to sleep for the night and hide out for the next day. He makes the climb and ties himself to a branch, leaning his head back against the tough bark. _Looks like I’m on the run,_ he thinks to himself. Bucky snorts inaudibly and begins cleaning the blood and cut on his neck. It seemed to have stopped bleeding so he would only need minor stitches. However, the bullet wound on his stomach needed to be dealt with first. Bucky takes a pair of pliers out of his medical kit and fits the rest of the torn blanket in his mouth. He lies all the way down on the tree branch and tightens the rope around his midsection. Bucky quickly sterilizes the pliers and lifts his shirt up, preparing to bite down on the blanket. After a large breath, he sticks the metal into his body and holds back a deep, painful moan. More blood exits his wound, but Bucky has to keep himself awake. With his other arm, he places an alcohol wipe over his nose to get rid of the flashes of light in his vision. The pain is overwhelming, but Bucky can’t stop until the bullet is out. After few more twists of the pliers and a bit of yanking, the piece of metal finally comes out. With the last bit of energy he has, Bucky cleans the wound and places a bandage over it. Shaking, Bucky takes the blanket out of his mouth and tries to wipe the red from his stomach. He leans back, barely conscious, with eyes fluttering open and close. In the back of Bucky’s mind, the face of a woman with ginger hair narrows her eyes at him.  
 _My fate lies in the hands of a spy who has tried to kill me_ , he thinks. _If I survive the night, that is._


	3. Chapter 3

Natalia wakes to a bucket of freezing water and ice in her face. She sits up quickly and tries to eye her assailant through dripping red hair. To her dismay, the older woman from the night before stands by the door and drops the bucket on the concrete ground.  
“Comrade Nikola,” Natalia says, dropping her fists.  
“Come. No change of clothing. You will learn to do as you are told and only as you are told,” Nikola states, turning to leave the room. Natalia follows, as ordered, and places a hand over her bandaged shoulder. The pain had begun to set in despite the morphine the medic administered the night before.  
They twist and turn through concrete hallways and head underground where Nikola stops in front of a metal door. Light reaches in from a window down the hall, and shivers rise up Natalia’s back. She had never been in this area of the Red Room before, yet her instincts were telling her to turn and run. The metal door. The locks. Everything was familiar, yet distant. Comrade Nikola opens the door and ushers Natalia into a small concrete room with no windows or lights.  
“You will stay here until dinner tonight. If you ever make a risk like last night’s again, you won’t leave this room for a week. No food, no human contact, nothing. Do you understand Natalia?” Comrade Nikola asks through narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow.  
“Yes, Comrade,” Natalia responds, her lip shivering.  
“Good. Now take off your clothes.”  
Natalia looks at her Comrade with hesitation in her eyes, embarrassed to show her body. Yet, she slowly removes the dirty tank top and her ripped pair of sweat pants.  
“ _All_ of your clothes.”  
Natalia clenches her jaw, then continues. She slowly exposes her chest and hips to her Comrade, then dips her head in shame. Natalia had been taught to use her body as a weapon, in more ways than one. But exposing herself to a higher up was a true embarrassment.  
“Get in the room, Natalia,” Nikola states.  
“Yes, madam.” Her Comrade sighs and kicks the clothes on the floor to the side.  
“It’s been a long time since you’ve needed any punishment quite like this. You were off your game, darling. Don’t let it happen again,” Nikola states, making Natalia realize Nikola had a fondness for her. Natalia nods in response and watches as Nikola closes the door and locks Natalia in.  
The room is dark. No light seeps in between the door frame. It is just Natalia and the blank nothingness. She turns her body in a circle, fingers tracing the walls. The room is barely large enough for her to sit in. There’s almost no space to even stand. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to control her lack of senses.  
A soft humming noise appears, then grows louder. She looks above her for the source only to be greeted by blackness. Natalia places her arms tight around her body for some sort of comfort, but the fear doesn’t go away. Then she feels it; a fierce, hair raising, freezing breeze fills the room. Natalia quickly gets bumps all over her body and begins to shake.  
Moment after moment goes by and Natalia can only shiver at an attempt for warmth. The cold grasps into her fingers and spreads inwards, chilling her insides. Natalia tries to crouch down and hug her knees to her chest, but is left partly touching the freezing walls. She drops her head to her chest, her hair surrounding her face. Natalia’s locks separate into chunks, looking like bloodied icicles.  
After what seems like hours, another sound emerges. A pipe bounces against the wall, startling Natalia. She looks up into the dark and reaches a shaking arm above her. Within seconds, ice water pours over Natalia’s body. She opens her mouth to scream, except nothing but vibration free air leaves her throat. Natalia drops to the floor, her limbs finally giving out.  
After some time, the ice water would stop and the cold breeze would begin again. These two methods of torture would alternate, causing Natalia to try and shield herself in one way or another. When the breeze would begin, she’d face her back to the ceiling and tuck her toes and fingers into her stomach. When the water would pour, Natalia would back as far as she could into the corner where the water barely touched. She repeated this for hours, focusing on her breathing and the small bits of warmth she could contain.  
In what Natalia could only assume was the evening, she found herself following the last trickles of water on the floor with her fingers. The breeze would begin again in any second, however, her limbs were already struggling to bend. Natalia reaches her arm out, tracing the last drops of water into a corner. Her fingers brush over a very small grate, seemingly rusted. Natalia, curious, sticks a finger in between the metal and wiggles the water droplets as they fall down the drain. As she flicks her finger back and forth, Natalia hears a crunching noise, almost like a plastic wrapper. Yet she feels nothing from the numbness and cold in her hand. She wiggles her finger again and hears the same noise. The breeze starts again from above, chilling Natalia’s back at first, then her bones. Yet, her mind is elsewhere. Natalia takes her finger out of the metal and tries to pull the grate out of place. With a bit of a struggle, she lodges it out of the concrete floor and places it to the side. Natalia reaches her whole hand into the hole and wiggles her fingers until she can hear the plastic again. Natalia grabs for the piece, hoping she has it in hand, and takes it out. In the dark she can’t make out anything, so she rubs it against her stomach, the only place left with feeling in her body. Sure enough, it’s there, but who would place something into a drain? _It must be important. Secrets in hiding always are_ , she thinks.  
Soon enough, Natalia hears footsteps heading back down the hall. She quickly feels for the grate and places it back into the concrete floor. Natalia tries to find a place for the small note, eventually deciding to shove it under her sopping shoulder bandage. Comrade Nikola opens the door as she drops her hand from her collarbone.  
“You are through. Stand up,” she commands. Natalia grasps the wall and slowly makes her way upward. Her eyes flicker open and close, adjusting to the limited light in the hall.  
“Do you understand your lesson now, Natalia?”  
“Yes, comrade.”  
“Tell me.”  
“I will no longer compromise my missions. I will not gain additional intel when unnecessary to my missions. I will guarantee and confirm I have the right person before I attempt to take out a target,” Natalia stutters through a shaky voice and chattering teeth.  
“Good. I’m sorry you had to endure this. Go to your room. You will eat alone and be allowed to recover before tomorrow. I had to press the other comrades to let me give you this time. I expect your trust and liability in return. Do you understand, Natalia?”  
“Yes, Comrade Nikola.”  
Nikola nods and pulls a blanket out from her side. Natalia takes it and covers her body, finally escaping the cold for a moment.  
Nikola walks Natalia to her room in silence. Before she closes the door on Natalia, Nikola places a hand on Natalia’s head and nods. Worry flashes in Nikola’s eyes for a fleeting moment, almost invisible to an untrained eye.  
“Your food is on your desk,” she states simply, then turns to leave, closing the door behind her.  
Natalia drops the blanket and runs to her shower, turning the heat all the way up, and jumps in. The feeling slowly returns to her fingers, toes, feet, hands, and then body. She watches the ice melt out of her hair into the cracked porcelain tub. The warm water brings back her senses, allowing Natalia to feel the pain in her shoulder once more. She looks at her shoulder bandage and rips it off, studying it in her hand. She flips it over to observe a piece of paper folded in the plastic bag. Natalia looks around herself to check that she is alone, then folds the bandage around the paper, intending to read it later. She places it under her bath mat and continues to soak in the burning water.  
Natalia stays in the shower until the hot water runs out, sending goosebumps down her back. She turns the lever and the water stops flowing, letting Natalia catch her breath. She tries to relax, but to no avail. Her hands ball into fists and the anxiety flits around in her stomach, making her slightly nauseous. Natalia leans her head forward against the tile wall, rubbing away mist with her forehead. Everything was finally catching up to her. _I’ve been sent to kill someone who was trying to kill me. I’ve lied to Comrade Nikola out of fear and stupidity._ Natalia sighs, clenching her jaw together. Natalia thinks to herself, holding back tears. Emotion was always frowned upon in the Red Room because it screwed with logic. But Natalia had been holding everything in for these past few days without barely moving a muscle in her face. It was time to let it out. In an act of defiance, Natalia finally allows tears to spill from her eyes. She lifts a hand, knuckles still tight from the cold, and bangs it against the tile. A hole grows in her stomach, or her heart, -she can’t tell- but it feels as if it is eating her alive, forcing tears to fall to calm the emptiness. Natalia falls to her knees and wails inaudibly. Everything was finally escaping; every emotion, good and bad, was being freed.  
She laid in the tub until the tears stopped and her breathing went back to normal. Her red locks began to dry in chunks on her head, some parts still dripping atop her shoulders. Now get yourself back together and fix this mess. Natalia stands up unexpectedly fast and jumps out of the shower, grabbing a towel to wipe off the remaining drops that still clung to her form. She looks down at the bath mat and quickly tosses it aside to grab the bandage.  
Natalia wraps the towel around her body and walks to her bed, eyeing her now cold food. She leans forward and grabs a piece of bread off her desk, takes a bite, and studies the wrapped paper in her hand. Natalia turns the note around in her fingers, looking for a way to open it without tearing the plastic. She sees a piece of tape covering the package and lifts it up carefully. Then she sniffs the inside of the plastic, making sure the paper is safe to hold. Once satisfied with the results, Natalia takes out the paper and unfolds it.  
As she reads, Natalia raises an eyebrow, then her mouth drops open. She quickly takes the letter and folds it back up, places it inside the plastic wrapper, and shoves it under her pillows. Natalia stands and runs to her dresser, gathering clothes to put on. Within a minute, she is dressed. Natalia grabs some more bread, puts it in her coat pockets, grabs the note from under her pillow, and sneaks out her window into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky wakes up to his body being pulled down a tree, his head bouncing against a branch. It was still dark, possibly a new night. He looks up to see a face shrouded in darkness; a dull halo of red encircling the figure. Bucky looks around and sees that he still has no shirt on, but now has stitches in his abdomen. He looks back at the figure just in time for his body to thud against the ground, causing him to let out a low moan. The figure above him looks down, pausing in its tracks.  
“James?” A soft voice whispers.  
Bucky moans again, struggling to keep his eyes open and interpret the situation at hand. He listens as a pair of feet land beside his body and watches as a small hand reaches for his forehead. Cold fingers press against his skin and Bucky leans in to the touch. His eyes open to reveal his former target checking his temperature.  
“Nat-?” he asks before she cuts him off.  
“Shh. From the look of your gunshot wound you must’ve been here since our first meeting. I cleaned it up and put stitches in. You better be happy I decided to try and find you. You’d be dead without me,” Natalia says, standing up.  
“I’d be a whole lot better if you’d never shown up in the first place,” Bucky retorts, his memory slowly returning.  
“You’re damn right,” Natalia says, turning to look at him with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.  
Bucky looks around and sees his backpack has been tossed into a bush and his hoodie onto a tuff of grass. He looks back at Natalia and tries to sit up, cringing in pain.  
“Great job with tossing my shit everywhere,” Bucky snorts. “How’d you even find me?”  
“You left a long trail of blood that started at the warehouse. But don’t worry. I cleaned it all up… By the way, why would you choose a tree for shelter?” Natalia asks, kicking a foot against the trunk. “Surely there had to have been a better spot.”  
Bucky sits all the way up and runs his metal fingers through long brown locks. “You can judge once you’ve been losing blood for hours and have to find a hiding spot.”  
“I have before. I found an abandoned cabin outside Moscow,” Natalia grins, leaning back against the tree. “And I didn’t leave behind any evidence.”  
“Yeah, okay, I get it,” Bucky says, leaning for his hoodie. Natalia grows a slight smile on her mouth watching him struggle.  
“What made you decide to come?” Bucky asks while placing the fabric over his shoulders.  
“Yeah. About that. I found something,” Natalia says. She reaches into her coat pocket and throws a piece of bread at Bucky. He catches it and nods at her, taking a bite.  
“What was it?”  
“A note,” Natalia sighs, looking down. Bucky stares at her, waiting for an answer. “Look, it proved to me that you were also part of the Red Room. That’s all I’m going to say for now.”  
“You want to work with me but you won’t tell me everything,” Bucky rolls his eyes.  
“The note is… incriminating,” Natalia eyes him. _And probably the reason we’re in this situation,_ she thinks. _But I have to find out more to prove it._  
Bucky stares at Natalia for a moment and then drops his head, accepting he won’t find out the note’s contents anytime soon.  
“Fine. Where do we go from here, then? The Red Room thinks I’m dead, I presume?” Bucky reaffirms.  
“Yeah. I covered your ass,” Natalia says. _Unintentionally, though._ “Don’t ask why, I just did.”  
“No, now I want to know why, Miss Romanov,” Bucky smirks, leaning back on his hands.  
“I go by Natalia,” she bites back.  
“Good, I’ll call you Nat then,” Bucky tilts his head, a mischievous smile on his face. Natalia drops her arms and raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed.  
“Our lives are in danger and you’re flirting?” she kneels to his level.  
“Can’t live a little, Nat?” Bucky jokes.  
“Maybe I should’ve let you die,” she says under her breath.  
“That’s awfully rude… Anyway, call me Bucky. My code name is The Winter Soldier. I used to train spies at the Red Room for combat,” he states.  
“Bucky? What, are we in the 1940’s? Yeah, I’ll stick with James,” Natalia says, smirking. Bucky drops a small smile and nods. “And I’m one of the Black Widows. I’ve been training since I was a kid, probably just like you.”  
“You’re a Black Widow?” he asks. Natalia nods.  
“It’s why I was able to kick your ass, James,” she smiles.  
“…Then why haven’t I seen you before? I used to train Black Widows,” Bucky questions, pressing his brows together.  
“Which ones?” Natalia asks, trying to deduce what he could possibly mean.  
“Yelena Belova, Monica Chang, and Dottie Underwood are a few,” he says. Natalia clenches her jaw and looks down, confused. “What?” Bucky asks.  
“I… I remember training with them, but… I think something is wrong,” she says, biting her tongue. The atmosphere quickly changes, a serious tone overcoming the two spies.  
“What do you mean?” Bucky asks.  
“My memories, it’s like there’s a black hole in parts of them. Like I’m remembering parts of what happened, but only what I’ve been allowed to see,” she says, placing a hand over her forehead. “I’ve had these similar feelings before when the Red Room tested on me. Memories of dancing ballet and fighting would mix in my mind. Pieces would disappear altogether.” _I never knew who I really was. I’m still not sure._ Bucky pauses, looking down at his metal fingers, and presses them into a fist.  
“I think I understand, Nat,” he motions to his metal arm. “Sometimes I remember what happened to my arm, and other times I don’t. There are flashes that appear of a doctor, or bloodied snow… But I’m never sure. The Red Room changed me, that’s all I can actually deduce from it. They tell me it’s for the betterment of society, but …I’m slowly beginning to doubt that. I’m just a weapon for them, and for the longest time I was alright with it. But those flashes in my mind keep coming to me more and more. And I feel like there is time missing in my head. Like there are parts of myself that I can’t access… Just like you.” Bucky looks up at Natalia, meeting her gaze. They look at one another for a moment, hesitant, but exposed fully to one another.  
“I’m tired of them messing with my mind,” Natalia says, breaking the silence and their gaze.  
“Me too. But I think what’s important right now is for us to figure out why they erased parts of our memories. Like why parts of your training are missing. Parts that we can assume involve me,” Bucky states. Natalia shakes her head and runs her hands through her hair. She clutches the note in her coat pocket tight to her body.  
“They do it to control us. If we don’t have any connections to our past, then we are less likely to ‘be a hero’ or compromise a mission,” Natalia states, eyes blank. Bucky is silent for a moment, trying to think of what connection could have compromised these two spies. He stares at the bread in his hand, then starts to laugh.  
“What?” Natalia asks, dropping a hand to her side. “What’s so funny, mudak?”  
Bucky looks at her, then shakes his head, still laughing. “Don’t you get it, Nat?” he asks. “We’re the goddamn connection.”  
Natalia clenches her jaw and leans her head back against the tree trunk. “Yeah, I thought that’s what you were going to say,” she whispers.  
“God, it’s so obvious. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it ‘til now,” he says, tossing another piece of bread into his mouth. “We got feelings for one another and the Red Room tried to tear us apart. I bet that’s why your note is so incriminating!”  
“You really think we could have been romantically involved?” Natalia asks, softly thumping her head against the trunk.  
“Oh please, you and I have been flirting since we laid eyes on one another. Why else would you stitch up my gunshot wound?” Bucky asks.  
“Because both of our lives are in peril and I need you as much as you need me,” Natalia reminds him, rolling her eyes.  
“If we ignore what we are made to think, maybe we can see what we feel with one another,” Bucky says, dropping his voice low.  
“Look, maybe you are right, James. I don’t know because I can’t remember. What I do know is that the Red Room doesn’t like emotions. But for them to erase our minds, something else had to have happened. I’m not denying that we had some sort of connection, but it has to be connected to some event,” Natalia says, looking up past the trees and into the stars. “You train the Black Widows for fuck’s sake. You’re a very valuable asset. I’m a Black Widow. We’re the best professionals in our business. You don’t just take these two spies and manipulate their minds unless our emotions for one another compromised something.”  
“Well then I think we have to find out what it was that made the Red Room erase our memories and why they wanted one or both of us dead,” Bucky says, standing up with a grunt. “What did the note say, Nat?” Natalia sighs, then takes the paper from her pocket and hands it to Bucky.  
“Read it,” she says. Bucky opens it and looks at the messy cursive writing.  
James,  
They know about us. Nikola gave it away with one small look in her eye. They’ll separate us, torture us to learn more, and then erase anything we were to one another. You shouldn’t have come back for me. I could have made it on my own. But I can’t argue with your logic, because I would have done the same for you. Please stay safe, my love. If this is the last part of me you can have, I hope you carry it with you always.  
You’ll forever be the comfort in my heart.  
-Nat  
Bucky looks at Natalia and clenches his jaw. He starts to open his mouth, then shuts it again.  
“It’s my handwriting, so I know it’s not fake. I think I was going to try and give it to you, or hide it in a place you could access, but I ended up somewhere else. Somewhere where I lost it, and it ended up in a drain,” Natalia says and stands, leaning against the tree.  
“I guess I was right,” Bucky snorts. Natalia nods and drops her head, studying the blades of grass.  
“Partners?” Bucky asks, reaching his hand out to Natalia. She freezes for a moment, taken aback.  
“…Sure. Partners,” she says, flicking his hand away with a smile on her face.  
“Ah, so she does flirt,” Bucky mocks as a hint of a smile forms on his mouth.  
“Shut up, mudak,” Natalia says, turning to hide her blush.


	5. Chapter 5

> Natalia jumps back through the window into her bedroom moments before the sun would rise. She readjusts the comm device in her ear and sits on her bed, staring at the stale food she barely touched. Natalia hadn’t told James about the torture cell from the day before out of fear that he would try and change their plan. They needed to know what happened to them and nothing would stop her, especially if all her comrades knew about her and James’s connection from before. She had been walking on thin ice this whole time and didn’t even know it.  
>  “Nat? You hear me?” A static filled voice echoes in her ear. Natalia heads to her bathroom and turns on the shower, drowning out any possible bugs that were hidden in her room.  
>  “Yeah, you’re coming through. Are you sure this connection is secure?” she whispers over the aggressive spraying of water.  
>  “Yep. Even if it isn’t, I’ll know if someone has access immediately. Then we can just pretend we’re kids,” Bucky jokes, laughing.  
>  “Well, one of us is basically a child with too many toys,” Natalia says sarcastically.  
>  “Very funny, Romanov. Now get to work. I’ll be listening in on everything,” Bucky states.  
>  Bucky was hidden in the woods outside the Red Room’s campus. The facility looked abandoned at first glance. There was no smoke rising from any of the stacks. Dust gathered on the window sills, and the grass and wildlife surrounding the center had become overgrown. However, he knew that the spies snuck in and out through underground tunnels and avoided using any of the obvious exits. Only those with high clearance or special skill sets could enter the compound.  
>  Bucky looked down at his small set up; a cracked computer screen and a few knives to protect himself with. Natalia would soon be wearing a camera so small that it was invisible to the human eye, especially when worn on black. In a few minutes, Bucky would have access to her eyes, as well as her ears. He was waiting for the signal on the camera to turn on so that he could observe her every move in the compound. This way, any discovery she made could be recorded for their own use.  
>  Within a few moments, a picture appears on the screen. A bland room with one chest of draws, a desk, and a bed light up the computer. As Natalia moves to her bathroom, he gets a view of a cracked porcelain shower/tub where she turns on the water. Then she stands in front of an old, dirty mirror above a sink. Bucky takes in her reflection as her gentle fingers adjust the camera. She looks back into the mirror and Bucky takes a deep breath, becoming lost in her green eyes. Natalia’s red fiery hair frames her striking features, and it was no surprise to Bucky that she was a Black Widow. She had the looks to draw in her prey, only to attack once they’d entered her space. Natalia is again wearing her black, skin tight uniform from the night they first met. She was beautiful, and it struck Bucky as to why he would risk his life for such a woman. Nat wasn’t just gorgeous, she was extremely intelligent and thoughtful.  
>  “Can you see, James?” her voice rings through the comms.  
>  “You’re all set,” he states, his voice cracking slightly.  
>  “You okay?” she asks, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.  
>  “Ready as ever,” he says, still taken aback by her every move. It seemed as if every little thing she did was deserving of affection. _Where is this coming from?_ Bucky thinks to himself. _I can’t have it this bad for her so damn quickly… Unless it’s the old, hidden feelings coming back to the surface._  
>  “I have fight training first,” Natalia says. “But Comrade Nikola and I usually end up alone in her office afterwards to go over my next mission. That’s where I’ll have to do some digging.”  
>  “Got it. Just be safe, Nat,” Bucky responds.  
>  “Since when am I not?” she smiles. Then Natalia turns, leaving Bucky wanting more.  
>  Before leaving her room, Natalia triple checks the miniscule camera on her suit. She keeps looking to make sure it’s invisible to the eye, which it is. Natalia jumps up and down to make sure it won’t fall off, and it doesn’t. However, the fight training she’ll be doing will be much more active and violent than a small jump. _I’ll just have to risk it and keep checking if it’s there,_ Natalia thinks. She runs her finger over the small camera again and sighs, ready to take on the day.  
>  Throughout the fight training, Natalia notices that the exhaustion and lack of sleep from the past few days begins to slow her reactions. She finds herself having to stop more often than usual, but luckily the trainers just believe it is from her day in the torture cell. They keep telling her to continue moving and bending her limbs to loosen the tightness, but it all feels overwhelming when there are other things on her mind. Eventually, after cartwheels, flips, jumping off of walls, and hand to hand combat, Natalia is finally done with her training for the day. Bucky had been whispering encouraging words into her ear through the whole training session, and if it weren’t for him, she probably wouldn’t have wanted to push herself. But that was just a warm up. Now it was time to visit Comrade Nikola for her next mission and gather additional intel.  
>  Natalia walks into her office to see it empty, as it usually was at this time. Nikola had a meeting with the other officials before she could meet with the Black Widows and give them each their next missions. Natalia, for the first time, circles Nikola’s desk and turns the lamp on, sitting in her chair. It felt wrong sitting in that seat, taking the position of a woman who was as cruel as she pretended to be kind.  
>  “You have to be quick, Nat,” Bucky’s voice rang through her ear. Natalia nodded to herself, scared to talk in case Nikola’s office was bugged, too. She had already searched the corners for any obvious cameras and saw none, so she felt it was guaranteed that it was bugged.  
>  Natalia opens the draws to her desk and sorts through file after file, looking for something, anything. There seemed to be endless notes and files labelled with each of the Black Widows names on them. Natalia searches for her own, and pulls it out. She opens the girthy file to find almost everything in code. One small bit stands out to her and makes Natalia tighten her body.  
>  “Move the papers a bit to the right. I’m going to screen shot them,” Bucky says. Natalia does as told and continues flipping through them, pausing just long enough for Bucky’s voice to confirm that he got it. She looks around, terrified that Nikola would enter any minute. Once through those files, Natalia puts it back and keeps looking, searching for Bucky’s name. She finds nothing, and confused, wonders why Nikola wouldn’t have anything on James. Maybe it’s because they think he’s dead? Natalia, in a hurry to get out of this position, presses her fingers on the edge of the desk to push the chair back. She stops quickly, feeling paper taped to the underside of the desk. Natalia pulls a folder out and reads the file name; _Natalia Romanov/James Barnes/MISSION 2167._  
>  “I think you found it,” Bucky says, his voice full of worry.  
>  Suddenly, Natalia hears a voice outside the office. She grabs the file and turns Nikola’s chair back in place. The door knob turns, and Natalia places the file on the opposite chair, then sits on it. Within a second, Comrade Nikola enters the room with her head down, looking over some papers in her hand. She looks up from the words and nods at Natalia, walking around the desk to sit in her chair.  
>  “Are you feeling better today, Natalia? I ran into your trainers in the hall and they said you were struggling some,” Nikola says, placing her papers down on the desk.  
>  “Why is her hair in such a tight bun? It looks like her eyes are bulging out,” Bucky says through the comms. Natalia keeps a straight face, unwilling to blow her cover over a joke.  
>  “My muscles and limbs are still a bit stiff. I think the workout from today helped, comrade,” Natalia responds.  
>  “Good. Now because of how your last mission went, you will be staying here for the next few days. We’ll have some of the other Widows take on these missions for now,” Nikola says, motioning toward the files in front of her. “That means you and I will be here alone in this area of the compound. I expect you to continue expanding your skill sets, Natalia.”  
>  “Yes, comrade. Is there anything else you need from me?” Natalia asks. The folder under her felt as if it were burning a hole in her body. She could feel a sweat rising over her back. Yet, Natalia keeps a straight, serious face.  
>  “No, that will be all,” Nikola says, sitting down and grabbing the edge of a paper in front of her. Natalia stands up, smoothly grabbing the file below her and placing it behind her back.  
>  “Nikola?” Natalia asks. Nikola looks up, studying Natalia’s face.  
>  “Yes, Natalia?” she asks, slightly annoyed.  
>  “Nat, what are you doing?” Bucky asks.  
>  “I wanted to thank you for your kindness and mercy for me these past few days. I know I haven’t been the ideal Black Widow with my actions. I will change my attitude,” Natalia says, eyeing Nikola. Nikola pauses for a moment, watching Natalia and trying to decipher her intentions.  
>  “Nice promise. I’m sure she’ll love your new attitude,” Bucky sarcastically states.  
>  “As you should. Go on now, Natalia,” Comrade Nikola states. Natalia turns around, making sure to swiftly hide the folder from Nikola’s sight. She exits the office and closes the door softly. Natalia stops, still facing the door, hidden from the hallway cameras, and slips the folder into her skin tight suit. She then turns and walks back to her room, ready to bolt from the Red Room if needed.  
>  _If Nikola sees that this folder is missing, I’ll have assassins after me in minutes,_ she thinks while walking down the halls.  
>  “Where’s the folder?” Bucky asks through the comms. Natalia leans her head down far enough to hide from the cameras.  
>  “In my suit,” she whispers.  
>  “I would offer to help remove it, but I don’t think we’re that close yet,” Bucky jokes.  
>  Natalia gets back to her quarters and heads to the bathroom, yet again turning on the bath water. She takes the camera off her suit and places it on the sink top; a small black dot among the dirtied white porcelain.  
>  “Can you see me?” she asks.  
>  “Yeah, you’re good,” Bucky says. Natalia nods, then unzips her suit a bit and takes out the folder, zipping the clothing back up.  
>  “If she finds out I have this, I’ll have put a target on my head,” Natalia responds, her eyes wide with worry.  
>  “Then start going through it now,” Bucky says.  
>  “No, you get up here first. It’s only a matter of time before Nikola discovers this is gone, and when she does, I’m the first person she’ll come to. I need backup,” Natalia urges.  
>  “Why don’t you just leave and come here?” Bucky asks, confused.  
>  “Didn’t you see what my file said?”  
>  “No, I was too busy getting clear screenshots of it.”  
>  “They think I’m a danger to them. They think I’ll escape the Red Room and expose them. Even if that was from before, it’s still there on my file now which means it is still in practice,” she says, out of breath.  
>  “What do you mean, Nat?” Bucky asks, still confused.  
>  “Someone has been watching me, James. Someone knows you’re alive and possibly knows that I lied to Nikola about it. If I leave again, they’ll be one step ahead of us. You have to get up here now!” Natalia almost yells, a stark urgency in her voice.  
>  “I’m turning the comms off. I’ll be coming through your window soon,” Bucky says before the static in her ear goes dark.


	6. Chapter 6

_Nikola has to know by now. She’s been stringing me along to see what I’ll do next. This was an easy way to get to know our plans and then sabotage us. Nikola is going to kill us both,_ Natalia thinks, her eyes wide. She quickly grabs the miniscule camera off the counter and places it in her suit’s belt. Natalia stands up, the file in hand, and runs to her chest of drawers. She throws some clothes aside and reaches under a piece of wood. Natalia pulls out a handgun and three extra casings of bullets. She loads the gun and faces it toward the door, ready for whatever comes her way next. _That’s why she wanted me alone with her these next couple of days. To kill us both and use my dead body as an example for the other Widows._ Natalia crinkles her nose and clenches her jaw. Something was coming soon, but she didn’t know when.  
A gentle tap on the window causes Natalia to swing her gun and body to face the noise. Bucky sits there, slowly pulling up on the glass, stopping when getting a look at Natalia.  
“It’s just me, Nat,” he says in a soft voice, edging his large body through the pane.  
Natalia puts a finger to her lips and drops the gun to her side. She takes Bucky’s hand and shuffles him into her bathroom. The water is still falling into the tub, covering any other noise nearby.  
“I’m sorry,” Natalia says. Bucky comes over and places a hand on her shoulder, worry spread across his face.  
“We’ll get through this Nat. We’ve got one another,” he says, placing his other hand on her cheek. She looks at his deep blue eyes and takes a large breath. “We’ve done terrible things for these people. But we have to channel that guilt in a different way now. We are not a part of the Red Room anymore,” Bucky reassures her. Natalia nods and looks down at the file in hand.  
“Should we read first, or get a plan in motion?” she asks, immediately ready to take on whatever would come next.  
“They haven’t tried to strike at us yet. So we can assume they’re waiting for us to make a move and then they’ll have the upper hand. Let’s read the file and figure out why all of this happened in the first place,” Bucky says, reaching his arm down to take the file from Natalia’s hand.  
“What if they know that we’re aware they’re spying on us?” Natalia asks. Bucky looks into her eyes and shakes his head.  
“I don’t know what we would do. One step at a time, okay?” he says, trying to calm Natalia.  
Bucky sits on the edge of the tub and opens the file. Natalia looks at him with wide eyes, ready for what comes next.  
“It’s in code, Nat,” he says.  
“Give it to me,” she snatches it out of his hands, nerves still high. Natalia runs her eyes over the file and shakes her head. She places a piece of hair behind her ear.  
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. The water drowns out his words and Natalia doesn’t hear a thing.  
“It’s a simple code,” she says, sitting beside him on the tub. “If you lined it up with a normal alphabet, you’d see that the first letter wouldn’t be ‘a’ but rather would be ‘d.’ When you run out of letters, you begin using numbers. I need a pen and a piece of paper to decode it.” Bucky stands up and walks out of the bathroom. He grabs a pencil and notebook from her desk and hands it to Natalia. She immediately begins translating, her pencil scurrying over the paper. Bucky watches her work, taken aback by the grace and speed at which she can move. Within a few minutes, Natalia is done.  
“What does it say?” Bucky asks, looking down at her scribble.  
“Well… It confirms everything we first believed… and then some,” she says, clenching her teeth together.  
“Let me see,” Bucky grabs the paper and looks at her writing, a mush of Russian letters and cursive.  
“No need. I can just tell you,” she sighs. “We fell for one another when you began training me for combat,” Natalia says. Bucky drops the paper to his side and sits beside her on the tub. “We disobeyed curfew, spent the night in each other’s rooms, and somehow snuck back without getting caught, until we finally did. They tried to separate us, but we found ways to communicate. A note system. Then, I was sent out on a mission to protect a Soviet politician being smuggled back into Russia. He had a large target on his back, and our cover got blown. We ended up in a firefight with a radical group, and I got shot in the chest protecting the politician. We got the man safely into the country, but I was left behind, bleeding to death…. James – you had followed me onto the mission when you weren’t allowed. You came back for me and went on a killing spree, murdering every member of that radical group you could find,” Natalia takes a large breath, then continue. “I almost died, too, but you saved me, James. We made it back to the Red Room, but Comrade Nikola was furious. They put me into surgery immediately and drugged you. Then they erased your memories of me, and mine of yours. Both of us were valuable to the Red Room, so the only way to decide who to get rid of was to send us both on a mission to kill one another. Whoever made it out alive would keep their position.” Natalia looks up at Bucky, tears in her eyes. She unzips a small bit of her suit and looks at a scar on her sternum. “They made me believe this was from a dancing incident…” she whispers. Bucky lifts a finger and traces the scar, his jaw clenched, thinking of what he had done.  
“Natalia… I’m so sorry. I never wanted to be a killer,” he breathes.  
“Neither did I,” she whispers, tears streaming from her eyes. “I never wanted this life…”  
“You’re the good in it all,” Bucky says, running his hand along her hair. Natalia turns to him, her cheeks and nose a rosy pink.  
“So are you,” she says, resting a hand on his metal arm. A genuine look radiates from her bright green eyes.  
“No, I’m not. But you’re one of the only ones who can understand that.” Bucky leans in and gently rests his forehead against hers. Her body is warm against his skin, still cold from the outdoors. Natalia takes a large breath in and out, then rubs her nose gently against Bucky’s. They stay like that for a moment, taking in the air from one another. Once Natalia feels the pink leave her cheeks, she backs away and grabs the file off the ground.  
“What are we going to do now?” she looks at Bucky. He sighs and looks at the file, taking it gently from her hands. He runs his metal fingers over the cover, deep in thought.  
“First, we find whoever is following you. Then we worry about Nikola,” Bucky says, looking at the dirty wall. “And maybe you should finally turn that water off,” he smiles. Natalia turns around and kills the faucet. They smile at one another, getting lost in the other’s eyes. _If you do fall in love, this would be the man to do it with,_ Natalia thinks to herself.


	7. Chapter 7

Natalia had snuck out her window and was pacing around in the woods, searching for Bucky’s hidden campsite. Natalia knew she was being followed now and so was using herself as bait. She didn’t know who was the culprit and if there were more than one. Bucky had left as well, heading back toward the city and the warehouse from that first night. That way, if there were more than one followers, the two spies would be able to outsmart them.  
She rounded another tree, sinking into the shadows as the sun began to set. Natalia was tracking Bucky’s footsteps to his camp, paying close attention to any bent plants or grasses in these woods. With the two spies separate, she hoped to have put an easy target on her back. Natalia was prepared this time around, and intended to expose her follower.  
A few minutes later, Natalia had reached Bucky’s site. He had sloppily placed tree branches and long grasses over the equipment to shield it from view. Luckily, this forest was dense enough to not call much attention to it. Natalia begins to carefully remove the branches without scratching any equipment and placing them to the side. Bucky had told her to grab a hearing aid out of his bag. The technology was the same as a normal hearing aid, except it had been altered to improve normal hearing. It would help give away her follower’s location. However, Natalia had to be careful not to expose the technology or else the follower would know she was on to them.  
She sat down at the computer and searched through Bucky’s screenshots. In her lap sat the bag. While one hand stayed on the keyboard, the other looked like it was casually sitting in her lap, when really she was digging around for the hearing air. After a few moments of fidgeting, Natalia feels something small and plastic-like. She leans her head further into the screen while lifting her hand behind a red curtain of hair, sneakily places the aid into her ear, then leans on that hand. Natalia turns the “on” button and tries not to fidget at the overwhelming noise entering her ear. She knew animals and bugs littered the forest, but hearing them all at once was overwhelming. Too long wearing the device and she could easily develop a migraine. Natalia, still pretending to be reading the screenshots on the computer, focuses all her energy on listening to the forest. She blocks out the chirping of crickets and fussing of baby squirrels, only to hear a gentle breeze rocking leaves into one another. Natalia furrows her brow and focuses some more, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a breath. Then she clenches her jaw and tilts her head to a different angle, trying to gather more sound.  
There! she thinks. The sound of a gun magazine clicks into place followed by a sharp breath. It’s coming from my right. Natalia stands up and leans down, resting against the computer to get a better signal on the hearing aid. The noise seems to be coming from above, in the trees. A branch rustles in the distance, and Natalia closes her eyes, almost certain she can identify where her tracker is without needing to look. Just in case, she pulls up a satellite scan of the area and targets where she believes the follower is located.  
“I’ve got you,” Natalia whispers, ready to cause some chaos.

Bucky sneaks around the alleyway corner and heads into the warehouse from the first night he met Nat. He tosses the bricks out of place nonchalantly and slithers through the hole, trying to be discreet, while also showing off for whoever may be following him. Bucky makes sure to press his buttocks high into the sky as he slides through, laughing at himself for being ridiculous. _If I end up dying, at least I can have fun doing it._ He gets through and shuffles the bricks back into place. Once centered in the dusty room, he sees where Natalia wiped away his message and smiles to himself.  
Bucky sits down and takes out his heat signature goggles. Natalia had hidden a pair inside her toilet and given them to him since he would be inside a building. Luckily, the room had no windows, so if a tracker did follow him, they couldn’t see Bucky inside the building. The sun had just disappeared over the horizon, allowing Bucky to put them on. He quickly places the goggles over his eyes and takes a look around. There were plenty of people in the building across from him. Families sat in circles, probably eating dinner together. Bucky looks up, observing figures of rats running in circles. Turning toward the alleyway, he sees a couple walking together, holding hands. Bucky sighs, slightly annoyed. He was sure there would be a tracker on his tail.  
Bucky takes the goggles off and runs a hand through his messy hair. He stands back up and heads out of the room and into a corridor. A set of wooden, rotting stairs leads up to a second floor. Bucky runs up the stairway, avoiding holes and fallen through steps. Dust flies into the air behind him. Once at the top, Bucky turns to the left and enters another room. Again, the room is without windows.  
He places the goggles over his head and looks around once more. Bucky observes the building across from him and sees a figure on top of the roof. He zooms the goggles in to view a figure looming over the edge of the building. Bucky can’t completely make out what the person is holding, but he quickly comes to terms that it’s a gun.  
“Gotcha,” he whispers.  
Bucky takes out a small device from his harness and turns it on. He begins twisting knobs, trying to break into the tracker’s communications. Bucky walks toward the wall and lifts the device higher. Sure enough, it picks up quite a few signals from around the area. Bucky’s eye has been trained to determine when a normal signal is secretly encrypted, and sure enough, there’s one in front of him.  
“Bingo,” he says while hacking the tracker’s comms. After a few moments, the signal is active. He turns the sound up and waits for the voices.

Natalia takes out the earpiece and sticks it back in the bag on her lap. She tosses the bag to the side, ready to make a move. Natalia shuts down the computer and closes it slowly. She takes a handgun out of her holster and turns her body toward the follower. Natalia raises an eyebrow and looks directly into the tracker’s scope.  
“Found you,” she mouths. Natalia is off. She runs straight into the woods and watches the spy struggle to keep their position. In a last minute effort, the spy begins shooting at Natalia, but she dodges it easily. The spy shoots off a continuous stream of bullets, sparking light into the dark forest. Natalia jumps and swings her body onto a tree branch, catching her balance. The spy above her shoots downward, trying to locate her ever moving body. Tree branches snap and crack under the shock from the bullets. Natalia meets the spy halfway up the tree. She throws her body around the trunk and kicks the spy off balance. He drops the gun and tries to grab the trunk to prevent falling. Natalia goes low, and swipes her legs against the spy’s. His body slams onto the branch, then drops to the forest floor. Natalia swings down as the spy tries to catch his breath. She grabs his gun and flings it further into the trees.  
Natalia kneels down beside the spy and turns his body to face her. He spits blood at her body and Natalia makes a funny face at him.  
“Woah there, tiger.”  
“Traitor,” the man grunts.  
“Sorry if I have a will to live,” she bites back, slapping his face. Blood dribbles from his mouth and onto his chin. Natalia sits him up and pushes his back against the tree trunk. He moans, and Natalia places a hand on his abdomen.  
“One of your ribs is broken,” she says.  
“Yeah, I can feel it,” the man grunts back. Natalia grabs a line from her belt and ties his body to the tree. Once she feels he is secure, she takes a pill from the emergency kit in her belt and places it in his mouth.  
“Swallow. It’ll help with the pain.”  
“Why would I do that? So you can kill me?”  
“You know very well that if I wanted you dead, you’d already be decomposing,” she bites back. The man hesitates, then swallows the pill down. Natalia grabs a walkie talkie from her belt and turns it on the station her and Bucky agreed upon. She sends out the specific signal only he could decipher.

Bucky had snuck out of the building, making sure the spy’s heat signature stayed in the same place. He had been listening in on a man communicating with a woman about a few basic interactions determining Bucky’s whereabouts. He runs across the street and enters the apartment building the spy is on top of. Bucky sticks his metal hand into his hoodie pocket, making sure not to grab the attention of any passersby. He heads straight to a door marked “lestnichnaya kletka” and runs up the stairs. While making sure he is alone, Bucky quickly checks the goggles and assures the spy is still in place. A woman’s voice rings through the comms again, questioning why “The Winter Soldier” was still inside the building. Bucky rolls his eyes, no longer wanting to be associated with that name.  
Finally, Bucky reaches the top of the stairwell, stopping before opening the door. He takes a knife from his pant pocket and unsheathes it, preparing for a very unfair fight. Bucky places the goggles over his eyes again and checks for the spy’s position. To the right, at the edge of the roof. _Still hasn’t moved far,_ he reassures. Bucky takes off the goggles and places them on the floor. He then holds the knife close to his body and tries to gently open the door to the roof. Unfortunately, the door squeaks so loudly that Bucky’s position is immediately given away.  
“Oh, blyad’!” Bucky shouts, running onto the roof and straight toward the spy.  
“Der’mo,” a voice speaks. “He’s here!” A woman’s voice yells back through Bucky’s staticy device, clearly annoyed.  
The spy flips his sniper gun toward Bucky and tries to shoot, but Bucky instead throws the knife. It lands right in the spy’s hand, causing him to back away from the gun. Bucky takes advantage of this momentary weakness and slides onto the floor, grabbing the weapon. He points it up at the spy and shoots him in the shoulder, enough to wound the man and prevent any more of a fight. The spy falls to the ground and gasps from the pain. Bucky throws the gun to the side and steps forward, taking the comm device out of the spy’s ear. He drops it on the ground and crushes it, then drops to the spy’s level.  
“You’re gonna’ tell me who is on the opposite end of that comm device, right now,” Bucky says, his voice almost a snarl.  
“Never,” the spy spits back.  
“Yeah, just you wait.” Bucky backs away and uses his foot to press the knife further into the spy’s hand. He lets out a painful scream and holds his hand to try and prevent the blood from flowing any further.  
Bucky walks a few paces away and takes out his walkie, turning it on to signal Natalia.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky had dragged his spy all the way to the forest to join Natalia. There were a lovely few moments where Bucky had to force the spy to stand and walk beside him as if they were friends, blending in with the last few stragglers under the street lights. Luckily, that was over now and he could happily snarl at the man once more. Natalia tied Bucky’s spy to the tree with hers, and together they watched the two men fight at the line holding them.   
“Good luck with that,” Bucky snorts. Natalia places a hand on Bucky’s side and squints at the two pathetic men.   
“Did you get anything out of them?” she asks.   
“Not yet, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter. I heard a woman’s voice in his comm,” Bucky says, pointing at the spy with the knife still in his hand. Bucky had stuck the rest of the blade into the bark, preventing the spy from moving it without suffering massive pain.   
“Nikola?” Natalia asks, her voice shaking slightly.   
“It had to be,” he says, arms crossed.   
“What do we do with them?” Natalia motions at the men.  
“We could always leave them. I don’t think they’re getting out anytime soon.”  
“Sounds good to me,” Natalia says, then turns. “Let’s get this bitch.”  
Bucky and Natalia head back to the Red Room with the guns taken from the spies. Natalia has her handgun in a thigh holster, ready to go with a new magazine in place. Bucky treads in pace with her and grabs Natalia’s hand. She squeezes his fingers and together they listen to the quiet of the night before the chaos.   
The two reach the edge of the forest and look upon the concrete compound. In the night, an eerie feeling surrounds the building. The moon shines upon the cracks in the walls and emphasizes the dark shadows. Natalia lets go of Bucky’s hand and grabs the gun off her back.   
“I want you to know something,” Bucky says, his voice almost a whisper. Natalia turns to him and sees such a strong man suddenly looking weak.   
“What is it?” she asks, worry in her voice.  
“These past few days, something inside me has changed drastically. I no longer focus on the things I’ve done and wallow in guilt and depression. I act like a different man, and that’s because of you, Natalia. You’ve sparked something in me that I didn’t know was still there,” he says, choking back the pain in his throat. Natalia drops the gun to her side and walks toward Bucky. She moves so close that their bodies almost touch. Natalia slowly reaches a hand to his face and runs her fingers along his cheek. She looks into his eyes and her breathing slows, observing the blue storm in his mind.   
“James…” she trails off, her eyes falling to his lips. Natalia steps onto her toes as Bucky leans down. Finally, their lips touch. He tastes like spring, her mind reels over and over. Bucky grasps her face with both hands, the metal of his fingers sending a tingle into her skin. Natalia presses her body against Bucky’s, and together they indulge themselves in one another. Finally, as naturally as it started, it ends. Bucky rests his forehead on Natalia’s and she lets out a soft laugh, then reaches in for one last kiss. Bucky smiles and kisses the tip of her nose.  
“Don’t ever call me Natalia again,” she giggles. Bucky nods, a laugh escaping his lips.  
After each reveling in the other, they somehow separate. Bucky looks back down at the compound, then at Natalia. Her face quickly changes from loving to serious.   
“Let’s get this over with,” Natalia says, looking back down at the Red Room.   
Bucky grabs his gun with both hands, as does Natalia. They head down together, both watching their own sides. The two climb into Natalia’s old bedroom, Bucky helping Natalia by offering his hand. She furrows her brow and flicks it away, a grin growing on her mouth. Once Natalia’s feet hits the floor, they both grow very quiet. Nikola would be waiting for them—  
Natalia knew it.   
Bucky opens the door to the hallway, but Natalia places a hand on his chest, stopping him. She points her gun at the security camera and blows it out, knowing it will cause Comrade Nikola’s hair to rise. Bucky and Natalia head down the hallways, taking out each security camera they can find. They round corners, gun first, to avoid running into any other traps.   
Natalia should feel nervous, but instead she is ridden with anger. This woman took everything from her. She was trained as a child to be a killer and exploit others. Natalia had become a weapon to be used, but not anymore. Nikola would no longer control her feelings, her thoughts, or her memories. Natalia clenches her jaw and squints her eyes as they approach Nikola’s office. Natalia can feel a similar energy radiating off of Bucky.   
Bucky clenches his fist tightly against the gun, ready for a fight. His heartbeat rises, as it always does before a risky mission. This woman tried to kill him. This woman tried to kill Natalia. It was over for her. He couldn’t change his past, but he could change his future.   
The two reach Nikola’s office door, and Natalia nods at Bucky. He places a hand on the knob, then pushes the door open. Natalia presses her body against the wall to the side of the doorway, as does Bucky on the opposite end. The room is completely dark, no noise coming from inside. Bucky peers his head in, gun positioned ahead of his body. He backs against the wall once more and looks at Natalia. They turn on their night vision scopes and take a breath. Bucky raises a hand and holds up three fingers. Three… Two… ONE!   
The spies burst into the room, looking through their night vision scopes. There, at the desk, sits Nikola. She leans forward and turns the lamp on. Bucky and Natalia back away from their scopes, avoiding being blinded by the light.   
Nikola leans back in her seat, a gun placed on her lap. Bucky and Natalia keep their guns pointed at her, eyes wide and ready.   
“So I see you’ve taken out my two spies,” Nikola states, annoyance filling her face.   
“You could say that,” Bucky snarks back.   
“And that you’ve stolen an important file from my desk,” she says, tilting her head to the side.   
“You didn’t seem to need it anymore,” Natalia states, furrowing her brow.   
“Oh please, put your guns down. We’re not savages,” Nikola flicks her hand in the air. Natalia and Bucky slowly lower their weapons, keeping them tight at their sides. “Well. Sit,” she says, irritated that they didn’t get the message on their own. Bucky takes a step forward and pulls a chair out, making sure every movement is slow. “Natalia,” Nikola says, motioning toward the other chair.   
“No, I don’t think I will,” Natalia retorts.   
“As you wish,” Nikola snorts. “So you both know what happened and why I needed one of you gone?”  
“I think ‘dead’ is the word you are looking for,” Bucky tilts his head. Nikola looks at him and squints her eyes. She nods her head and purses her lips.   
“Yes, you are correct. However, I did what I had to do in such a situation,” Nikola talks in a calm voice.   
“You want us to spare you for doing your job? What about the years of torture and training you put me through, just to turn me into a weapon?” Natalia bursts out.   
“I did it to make you the best Black Widow there’s ever been. And you were,” Nikola hisses back. “And you! Don’t think you weren’t one of the most sought after weapons in this industry! I wanted to keep you both alive. But together, your minds are dangerous. You both justify normalcy and wonder why you can’t have it. And you never will, because you’ve been in this program for too long. The Red Room will never allow their best spies to escape or develop a western sense of life. So instead, we press delete—wipe your memories.”   
“You don’t get to decide what I do and think anymore,” Natalia grits her teeth.   
“Oh, really? Would you like to know how many times I’ve had this conversation with the both of you?” Nikola grins, her brows raised.   
“What?” Bucky asks.   
“Did you really believe the only time we erased your memories was the one in that file?” Nikola asks, laughing.   
“What do you mean?” Bucky balls his metal hand into a fist, the blood beginning to boil in his body.   
“Darling, you two fell in love years ago. Once every few moons you’ll find one another again and start some idiotic plot to escape the Red Room. But you’re both too valuable to kill. That is until this past time when our Winter Soldier compromised your mission, Natalia. That was the last straw. We deleted your memories of one another, but the order couldn’t decide who was more valuable to keep. So we decided to let you two kill one another. Whoever survived would still be useful to our cause here. But you had to go and ruin that, too!” Nikola yells, grabbing the gun. She stands up and points the gun at Natalia.   
“Do you really think you can save each other from us?” Nikola smirks. Bucky jumps out of his chair, knocking it over, and points the gun at Nikola.   
“Don’t you dare touch her,” he groans through gritted teeth. Nikola laughs in disdain. Natalia stays calm, watching Nikola’s confident appearance.   
“She won’t,” Natalia says, tilting her head.   
“What?” Nikola asks, taken aback.   
“She can’t touch me,” Natalia retorts. In an act of anger, Nikola thrusts the gun’s barrel against Natalia’s forehead.   
“How about now?” Nikola grins.  
“Nat…” Bucky whispers.   
“You gave away one small piece of information that makes me believe this time will be different,” Natalia says, her face relaxed.   
“It will never be different, comrade,” Nikola bites.   
“Nikola, you sent away all the other Black Widows and spies in this facility for a mission. You told me yourself. And we’ve taken out your last two bodyguards,” Natalia nods.   
“For a trained liar, I’d think you’d have picked up on my tricks by now, Natalia,” Nikola says, pushing the barrel further into her skin.  
“Yes. And fortunately, I have. You’ve grown fond of me, Nikola. And when you did, I noticed a shift when you talked to me. You can’t lie to your favorite Widow,” Natalia stands up and leans forward. “Your eyes give it away,” Natalia says. Nikola furrows her brow in anger and Natalia quickly pushes the gun away from her forehead. Nikola tries to shoot in time, but misses, hitting the wall behind Natalia. Bucky takes a shot immediately, causing Nikola to fall back into her chair. Nikola’s handgun falls onto her desk and Natalia grabs it before Nikola can.   
“You’ll regret leaving, Natalia,” Nikola says in pain.   
“And you won’t regret anything anymore,” Natalia says. She lifts the gun and shoots Nikola in her head, ending it all. Blood splatters across the walls and soaks into the office chairs. Natalia looks down and drops the handgun. She falls into her chair, hands shaking.   
“Nat,” Bucky’s voice says in the distance. Natalia can’t hear anything over the ringing in her ears. Tears begin to swell in her eyes, and her heart beats faster.   
“Nat.”   
Natalia looks at her hands, then up at Bucky.   
“I did it, James,” she whispers. “We did it.”

It had been several weeks since Natalia and Bucky’s freedom from the Red Room. They travelled across seas and made it to the United States, where it wasn’t nearly as bad as the Russians had made it seem. The two spies were still on the run, making sure to never stay in one place for too long. They’d bought an old camper and made their way from state to state, posing as tourists. Natalia knew normalcy would never be an option. That was one thing Nikola had been right about. Yet, seeing Bucky burn burgers on a grill made her heart skip a beat. Especially when he used his metal arm to flip the meat, then forgot how hot his fingers could get. There were now permanent burn marks on Bucky’s thigh, and seeing it always made Natalia laugh. They were happy for the first time that their memories allowed them to remember. And that was all they needed.   
Still, at night Natalia found herself dreaming about past meetings with Bucky. Moments would fill her mind from time to time, confusing what might be real and what was real. Bucky felt the same, detailing moments in time when he wasn’t a person, just a machine for the Red Room. Most of their past dealt with confusion and uncertainty, but now that they were free, both of these former spies could breathe. And that was all they could possibly ask for in their new life together.


End file.
